If you know me then you know that perfection is something I strive for in a lot of different aspects of my life. And while I almost never get that I do try to achieve it. Striving for perfect is a mistake in itself. But my bigger mistake is expecting things out my control to also be perfect. The best example of this is Nellie.
Now, let me explain before you start thinking badly of me for wanting my daughter to be perfect. Because that’s not what this is. With Nellie being a preemie I knew that her development would be different. Average development for her actual age versus the average development for her adjusted age has me completely thrown off. On March 1st she will be 14 months actual, 11 months adjusted.
I have been spending so much time with her lately and in that time I’ve been able to teach her so many things. If you read my last post you’ll see how much she is learning. Right now, we’re focusing on walking. And while I don’t want to push her to do it before she’s ready, I’m having a hard time reconciling the actual vs adjusted development in my head.
Part of me keeps thinking she’s behind because she’s 14 months and isn’t walking yet. And then I take a step back and realize that she’s really 11 months and totally on track for average development. I know every baby is different and they learn in their own time. But I have this lingering feeling that I can’t quite put my finger on that won’t let me just let it all go. That probably sounds really bad. And I promise I’m not trying to make her do things she isn’t ready to do just yet.
Here’s the good news. Last night, February 26, 2021 at about 8:45pm Nellie-Anne took her very first steps!
She has been standing on her own for a while, but when she gets ready to move she goes straight to her hands and knees and crawls to her destination. Last night she kept letting go of the couch and dancing (bouncing) to the song in her movie. Bryan and I both hit record on our phones every time she did it, but then she’d go down to the floor or grab the couch again. So, we stopped recording and finished our conversation.
OF COURSE, when we put our phones down is when she decides to walk for the first time. It was only about 4 steps, but they were four very real, slightly wobbly steps from the ottoman over to the couch.
I’m not mad that we didn’t get it on video. This time it will be just for us. We’ll share videos once she’s really up and walking from one spot to another, but for now, we get to keep this particular milestone to ourselves.
I’m reminded every single day that I’m not perfect. And that the things I do aren’t perfect. But Nellie, she is. In my eyes, she’s absolutely perfect. This stands true even if it takes her a few more weeks to really get going on her feet. Even if she doesn’t say intelligible words after most kids do. Though, she is my daughter so I’m sure that won’t be an issue.
I know she’ll be fine. She’ll grow, walk, get teeth, and talk all in her own time. And I’ll be fine. I’ll continue to remind myself that God gave me this perfect little girl and has trusted me with her. And He didn’t do that so that I would worry about every little thing.
Thank you for continuing to follow out journey into parenthood with Miss Nell. We love having you all along for the ride.