I. Am. Tired.

I. Am. Tired.

I don’t know what it is, but Nellie seems to only go back to sleep for Bryan.

Bry and I take turns having her on our side of the bed overnight. Every 2-3 days we switch. When he has her, she’ll wake up, eat, and then go back to sleep. And then she won’t wake up until I’m up and take her out of her bed.

BUT! When she’s with me overnight she wakes up, eats, and then STAYS AWAKE for like 2 hours. I’m exhausted by the time I finally get her to sleep. And once I fall asleep she’s crying again. Then, I’m out of bed carrying her, rocking her, feeding her, changing her diaper, literally everything I can do and she still won’t go back to sleep. Most nights I end up waking Bryan up because I’m so tired I just can’t do it.

The other night, she woke up at 1am, ate, and was alas so by 2am. I was so happy. It didn’t take me any time to fall asleep.

But not 45 minutes later she’s screaming. So, 3am feeding here we come. I didn’t give her a lot since she had eaten just an hour and a half earlier. She still wasn’t happy. So I changed her. Still not happy. We tried the pacifier. Nope. I tried walking around the house to calm her. Nope. NOTHING worked. So, I tearfully woke up Bryan, handed her over and went to sleep in the living room. Where I cried myself to sleep.

How horrible is that? I can’t even get her back to sleep. I’m getting so frustrated with her and that’s not fair. So, for now, I pray through the frustration and tears. I pray that one day I’m no longer frustrated with her for not going back to sleep because she’s a baby and she doesn’t know any better.

And I’ll continue to learn her and love her.

Nell Updates:

  • She now weighs 6lbs 15oz
  • She’s 19.5in long
  • She’s eating more and more every day
  • She’s staying awake longer after each bottle
  • She’s wearing newborn diapers
  • She’s also moving up into newborn sized clothing (still a little big for her)

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