“It’s not a bad thing. You’ve been able to do a lot for her. And I know it’s not what you ‘wanted’, but you’ve done amazing mommy.”
This is what Nell’s nurse said to me this morning after I told her that I don’t think Nell will be breastfeeding.
I have had to accept a lot of things since Nell was born. A lot of things that had to do with how everything happened. I didn’t hope for things to happen the way they did. And breastfeeding is just one more thing I have to accept won’t be going as I had hoped.
Nell is being given formula because I can no longer provide enough breast milk for her. We’ve tried to latch a few times. She can’t latch without me using a nipple shield and when she does finally latch on she doesn’t do well. She does better with a bottle.
She’s still gaining weight. She’s weighing in at 5lbs 6oz. She’s getting 46ml every three hours. Most of those feedings are don’t through bottles. Sometimes when she gets tired they feed her through her tube.
She’s off all medications! The only thing she is still on is the poly-vi-sol, which is just a vitamin. They said she’ll most likely be on this even after she goes home.
We’re counting days. Not too much longer and she’ll be home with us. We’re excited to be able to get ready for her.