Motherhood

Motherhood

I’ve written about the bond my dad and I have, but I also have a really special bond with my mom. Growing up, she always said that she wasn’t my friend. But now that I’m older and I’m a mom I feel differently about that relationship. We are mother & daughter, but she’s also my best friend.

She’s always the one I want to call when I don’t know what to do. She always knows what to say when I’m upset or angry. She’s the one that brings me back to the Bible when I’m really conflicted. You guys, the woman is always right. It’s ridiculous, really.

I think my relationship with my dad sometimes overpowers what I have with my mom. For me, they’re totally different. I can talk to my mom about anything. I can go to her for the dumbest little thing and she’ll put me in my place or she’ll console me. She has patience with me like no one else does. Most importantly, she prays for me every single day. And she has been since day one.

There are so many things that make ‘us’ special. For years, we’ve been doing an annual girls’ trip. For the first few years we went to San Fransisco and last year we went to Solvang.

Our very first trip was to San Fransisco. My mom had everything planned out. She had the flight and hotel booked and we already knew what we wanted to do while we were there. We got to Long Beach Airport and before we board we hear over the loudspeaker that our flight is delayed due to fog in SF. They said they didn’t know when they would be able to get us on a flight. We looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and said, “what the hell, let’s drive!” So, we did. Six-ish hours later we were in SF. It’s a good thing we drove because we ended up buying so many things that there’s no way we would have gotten it all home. We never flew again after that. We drove every time. Those are some of the best road trips I’ve had.

The day I got married was one of the best days of my life. I’m so sad that our photographers were so focused on getting shots of me and my dad that they failed to get any of me and my mom. The only reason I don’t let this bother me is that I don’t need photos to remember that day with her. She was with me when I got my hair and makeup done. She was with me when I put my dress on. She put my veil on for me. She was there with me the whole day. I don’t need photos to remember the love I felt from her that day. I wish I had them, but I don’t need them.

I’ve got so many wonderful memories with my mom. I got her to get her FIRST tattoo. We have matching ones. I love that these are things I can’t ever lose or have taken from me.

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In the photo of the two of us below, I was actually pregnant I just didn’t know it yet. I love that every time I look at that photo I’ll think of it as the first photo the three of us have together, even if you can’t see Nell. And now we’ll have countless photos together with Nellie-Anne.

My dad may have taught me how I should be treated by a man, but my mom taught me things about being a strong, Christian woman. She taught me to get on my knees when things are difficult. She taught me that all I have to do is pray and He’ll take care of me.

She taught me how to love those around me. She taught me to stand up for myself without getting out of control and letting go of who I really am in Christ. She taught me how to have patience with others; this is something I’m still working on getting right. She’s the one that I know will always tell me exactly how things are and why I don’t always get to be upset.

I hope that I’ll be half the mom she is. I hope that I’ll be able to create the same environment she created for me and my brothers. I hope that I’ll be able to teach Nell to pray, get on her knees when she needs to, be patient, have grace, and stand up for herself. I love that Nell will have her just like I did. I can’t wait to see the two of them together.

Mom, I hope you always know how much I love you. I hope you know that my relationship with dad isn’t more important than ours. I hope you know that you’ll always be the one I want to call when I need someone. I hope you know how important you are to me and to Nell. We love you so much.

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